Motherhood: the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Motherhood definately has it's ups and downs, just like everything I guess.
Last week Scott was gone at school during the night and I heated up my little frozen dinner of swedish meatballs with noodles. Crystal eats whenever I eat, and it's usually what I'm eating; so there we were sitting side by side on the couch eating our frozen dinner while we were watching American Idol on the television. We each took turns taking a bite of our meal and everytime a contestant would sing she would bob her head and sway side to side to dance along. I looked down at her while she was dancing to the music, chewing her food with a smile on her face. It was a moment of pure joy. I felt like the luckiest woman alive to have this little friend next to me who loves and needs me so much, and I need her too.
A couple of nights later while I was putting her to bed I made a funny face and she couldn't stop giggling for the rest of the night, even when I stopped. It's amazing at how much the happiness of your child can mean everything to a parent.
Then there are the days that aren't the best. Everytime I get on the computer she gets jealous that she's not the center of attention and climbs to my lap and immediately starts pounding on the keybord and messes up everything, she deletes files, sends random emails, everything. I could understand if I were on for hours but I'm talking within the first 2 minutes of my being on it. I moved the keyboard where she couldn't reach it, so lately she tries everything to get attention, from basic whining to throwing toys at me, and has even bit me on the knee when I tried to ignore her once. This afternoon she kept taking her pants off even when she knew very well that I was telling her not to. I stayed patient and would just put them back on every time she took them off and telling myself that it was no big deal. Finally after a few hours and my loss of patience I figured if she want's to run around in her diaper it's no big deal. Apparantly it was a big deal to her because I looked away for a minute to download some music on my computer and when I looked back she had torn her diaper off...and it was full of poop, which she managed to smear EVERYWHERE. Due to the fact that it was my time of the month I think I actually started to laugh and cry at the same time; I'm not sure which came first or which dominated. What can you do but clean up the mess right? I'm going to buy her a belt!
In spite of the not so good days, I really feel like the good moments are worth it. I love my little friend. When she looks up at me with that huge smile on her face when she's just loving life, I know God really loves me; and when she smears poop everywhere, I'm pretty sure he's laughing hardest.