Being Thankful

If you know me, you know I hate bandwagons; meaning I hate doing something just because everyone else does it. I prefer to do things because I feel like doing it, not because I feel pressured, or want to join in.
Every November on Facebook, people do "thankful countdowns" and every day they type something they are thankful for as their Facebook status.  Sometimes it's for simple things like a new outfit, other times it's for their family or life in general.  I'm not saying being thankful is bad.  I would much rather see somebody say something positive on facebook for a change, than complain about their spouse, or work, or their kids, which I see almost every day no matter what time of year it is.
My problem is when I see people who do their usual complaining on Facebook every single dang day, magically turn thankful on the exact same days that all their friends are thankful, then as soon as black friday hits, go back to being selfish and shoving people out of their way so they can save 50 bucks on a stereo at Best Buy.  I don't like people who aren't genuine.  Even if someones opinions are the exact opposite of mine, I respect them more for being themselves than just jumping on a bandwagon.  Whether it's religion, politics, or thanksgiving. I don't like fake people.  Please!  Be yourself! 
So unlike a lot of the facebook world lately, I've avoided expressing thanks out of stubbornness.  The same way I avoid proclaiming a new years resolution on New years eve, and the same way I refuse to repost 90 percent of the day's most popular link that is getting passed around on facebook that day.  Maybe I'm the one with the problem, but at least I'm being myself while having said problem.
Anyway,  in spite of it all, I do think being thankful is one of the most important things we can be as human beings here on this earth.  Not just thankful because we're supposed to be, but feeling genuinely humbled at the amout of goodness that we have in our lives.  I had the opportunity to feel that this week.
Like most of the general crowd, I've always considered myself a thankful person.  Of course I'm thankful for my family, of course I'm thankful for my husbands job, of course I'm thankful for a roof over my head and clothes to wear and food to eat and a functioning body.  Of course...
but...
I think it had been a little while since I had truly felt humbled at the blessings God has given me at this time in my life. Not just, "it's nice to have this," but "Wow. How on earth did I get so lucky...and why does an insignificant person like me have this kind of access to happiness?"  Thanks to a dear childhood friend of mine, I remembered those feelings this week.
This Monday, I got on facebook as usual and was slightly bored at the same things being written over and over again. Then I came across some really really bad news.
Two days ago, the husband of a girl I grew up with woke up one morning, went to work, and then randomly collapsed at a work meeting while giving a presentation.  His heart just stopped beating.  So far nobody knows why even though doctors are trying to figure that out. It was the most random, horrible, shocking tragedy.  Just like that, he was gone.  This old friend of mine was someone I had known since I was just a kid.  We went to church together, lived near each other, and because we were in Young Women's together we often went camping, hiking, biking, dancing, singing, etc. in the same group of girls at the same activities.  She is hilarious, fun, and full of life.  She is one of the genuine people that I spoke of earlier, someone I admire and someone who has made me smile many times.  I haven't seen her in person in years.  Not since she was pregnant with her first child.  We both have four children.  She is only a few months younger than me.  Her husband was also very young.  When I heard the news I felt a pit in my stomach.  I felt physically sick, and I went to bed in tears.  Partially tears of sorrow for her loss, and also tears of anger at how colossally unfair it all seemed.  I couldn't help but think about how angry and bitter I would feel in her position, and even though I wished her well and sent my condolences to her like many others, in part I felt almost unworthy to do so, because I couldn't see how anything anyone would or could say would help me if it were me in her position.  Either way, I wasn't saying it to make it better, I just wanted her to know that even though it's been years, that I care.  I care a great deal, and my heart hurts because of her loss. 
I then thought of all the things that I complain about.  It's no secret that this sudden change in my life of moving across the country and adjusting to a fourth baby at the same time have stressed me out.  I've moved into a smaller home, the heat hasn't been working here as it should, the sink started leaking, my baby is congested due to the cold in our house, and my daughter is terribly homesick for her best friend in Utah. In the midst of dealing with two babies so close in age and trying to adjust, I've been asked to teach the 3 year old kids at my church, kids who need constant attention and usually end up in your lap...except that I already have a baby that I'm still nursing who will be taking up that lap.  Somehow I have to figure out how to be an effective teacher to these little sunbeams even though I'm still figuring out how to be an effective mother to my own younger two children who are only a year apart, and who still end up on my lap during church because one is an infant, and the other occasionally gets escorted out of nursery because he's wild.  Due to all these little hiccups, I've complained, and I've complained more than I should. I've been frustrated, and at times I've felt overwhelmed and just tired from the lack of sleep because I'm still waking up to nurse Sammy.
Then when I saw what this dear old friend dealt with on the same day that I was thinking these negative thoughts, all those things that seemed like such a big deal seemed to have just melted away and revealed nothing but my own selfish stupidity.  My friend lost her husband this week.  He left for work, having no clue that it was going to be the last morning he was going to say goodbye to his wife and kids.  Thanksgiving and Christmas are just around the corner, and my dear friend and her four children are going to be without him this year.  I sobbed that night at what a selfish person I am.  I sobbed because it's so unfair that my friend has to go through this, and I was so angry when I saw someone write that "God must think you're strong enough to handle this." on her wall. I wanted to scream, NOBODY is strong enough to handle the loss of someone they love, they're just forced to do it.  And even though, I too, expressed how sorry I was, I couldn't help but think that if I were in her position, how angry I'd be at how "sorry" people are that I was dealing with something that they weren't. 
With all those feelings, that once again, were negative, this same friend taught me something.  Again, she taught me about attitude and thankfulness, this time, by expressing her own.  In the same 24 hours that she experienced this sudden loss, she posted a picture of the temple.  A picture she took herself as she was walking through the doors hand in hand with her husband 4 days earlier before the loss of his life.  She wrote about how that day, four days earlier, she and her husband had been speaking and acknowledged to each other  that they knew they were part of something eternal, that they were sealed forever, no matter what.  She then expressed thanks for that knowledge.  With that short, beautiful testimony, she once again humbled me beyond words.  Here I was thinking about how angry, bitter and shortchanged I would feel in her position, and she expressed words of thankfulness for what she shared with her husband in this life, and what she will share with him in the next.  She took the opportunity to bless others lives with expressing her knowledge of a God that loves us all, and has a plan for us even when bad things happen.  She is an example to me of what real gratitude is, and has taught me a valuable lesson about the kind of person I want to be.  I want to be the kind of person who can express gratitude even when the most unexpected terrible things happen.  I want to be the kind of person who knows that if we endure our trials well, that there is happiness around the corner.  I want to be the kind of person who can prove to the world, that you don't have to be frustrated, bitter and angry even when you may have every right to be.  I want to be like her.  Not only am I thankful for my life today, but I'm thankful for the examples of others who are better than me to teach me how to be humble, and how to be more thankful. I'm thankful for this woman, who've I've purposely not named, because she has no clue that I'm writing this, and I figure it's better that way.  I'm mostly writing this for myself, because I learned a valuable lesson this week, and I've been reminded of what I have, and what it really means to be thankful.  I love my life, and I'm embarrassed that I've been so frustrated lately, but I'm thankful for the opportunity to prove that I can be better, that I can try harder, and I can be happier.  I'm thankful because I have the opportunity to smile every day, at the wonderful life I live with the wonderful people in it.  I'm thankful because I CAN be thankful. 

October

We took the opportunity to do a California vacation with my parents and sister.  It was nice to see them again.  I know it's only been 3 months, but it was so nice.  They immediately started taking our kids off of our hands, they love helping with the kids because they love our kids as much as we do.
So I will try to describe the trip as I post pictures.
Here we are on the plane going there.  I decided I don't like flying with four kids.  Three was still pretty manageable, hard, but definitely manageable.  Four is much more chaotic with much more luggage.  We used to be able to just all bring carry-ons for everyone.  Not anymore.  The fact that the last two are a year apart didn't make it much easier either because we're still carrying babies.  That and Jake with his meltdowns.  He usually has one gigantic eardrum breaking meltdown a day, and since we were on a plane all day, he had it during the first flight.  I had to take him to the bathroom to help him calm down where he wasn't embarrassing me and disturbing the peace.  The kid is loud.  He started the 'Terrible Two's' two months early apparently.  He looks happy in the picture though.

The older ones did great as usual.  Seth was happy the whole time.

 

 When we got there, my parent's flight had landed around the same time, so we all checked into the hotel together, and then we ate an early dinner at BubbaGump Shrimp.  We eat there almost every time we go out there.

This year I ordered the Shrimp 'Po boy sandwich which was delicious.

Sam just chilled in the car seat as usual. 

Crystal and Seth shared a hotel room with my parents.  They had an extra bed in there and wanted to spend as much time with their grandchildren as possible.  My parents also bought Seth a Super Mario costume for Halloween, which is what he wanted to be. Here they are chilling on their bed in their room, Seth is of course trying on his costume.

My dad brought a scary mask just for Jacob to play with.  Jacob loves all things intense and scary and rough.  So he was delighted and loved putting it on and growling at everyone.  My dad and Jacob have a strong relationship.  They understand each other.

Even though it was only our first night in Cali, my parents were more than happy to watch over all four children while Scott and I went on a date.  The best date ever.  This is where I could actually enjoy the month of Halloween.  At Universal Studios Halloween Horror Nights.

We arrived!!!  Thank you GPS

Warning upon entering.  Also why I absolutely love this event.  There's still a small  remnant of the adrenaline junkie that existed long before marriage and she was very happy for this.

Front of the line pass.  It's not worth going unless you buy this. 

Pamphlet/guide cover

Map of where all the mazes and shows are

I love that Krustyland is right in the middle of the park, it's like being in the Simpson's movie for a little bit, and reliving my adolescence.  The 3D ride is also a lot of fun. 

There is a Kwik-E-Mart in Krustyland just like in the Simpsons TV show.  This is where you can buy a lot of the things and props you see in the actual show.

This is the 'Homer Simpson Doughnut" purchased at the Kwik-E-Mart.  Scott and I split it, since it's basically the size of a cake.  I'm not a huge doughnut person, but even I think this thing is delicious.

Just chillin at our table

Scott took this stupid picture of me, BUT funny story, one of my highlights that night was the fact that right after this picture, a big boned girl went running full speed past me screaming "THEY HAVE A CINNABON!!!"  toward the cinnabon you see behind me.  It was so random and she looked so hilarious running so fast using that tone that I laughed about it for a good three minutes.  Even Scott kept giggling.  Not sure whether she was trying to be funny on purpose or not, but that girl helped make my day.

Nachos, Tacos and energy drinks before entering the maze.  The park stays open until 2am so we decided to eat first.

The Escalator in the park

This is the view of the city from the escalator.  Gorgeous.  Also a chance to try out the features on the camera since it was a new one.  We borrowed it to see if it was worth purchasing.  I'm thinking it will be my Christmas present this year.

As you walk through the park, workers dressed in full makeup and costume sneak up on you and scare you the whole time.  This guy followed me for a while.  I saw him scare a whole group of girls as well.  All night long you hear people screaming, it's awesome.

Entrance to the "Mummy" ride.  It's an extremely short ride, probably no longer than a minute, but very intense and my favorite ride in the park.  I enjoy it every single time. 

Entrance to the Transformers ride.  The best 3-D ride I've ever tried. 

YES!!!!  Here we goooo!

This is the outside of the 'Walking Dead' maze.  It depicts the prison that is in the TV show.  The maze also includes actual props, and zombie dummies that were used in it.  They did a really great job with the detail on this one depicting different scenes from the series.  Any true fan would recognize the scenes...from "The governors fish tanks" to trying to find your way through the prison hallways, this place had it all and was way fun.  It was Scott's favorite.

Just random props in the park when you walk by

They had a Bill and Ted's Halloween show there.  Basically two Bill and Ted impersonators in a small comedic play.  It was absolutely hilarious, but not for people who are easily offended because some of the humor can be considered crass.  I hadn't  had this much fun watching a live show since "Spamalot" on Broadway. 

The next day was our first day at Disneyland as a family.  Here are pictures of that day, including some pics of us at the hotel room before leaving.

Jacob poked his eye and was really sad about it.  I love his big fat crocodile tears in this picture.  It makes me want to hug him every time I look at it.

Crystal and Seth cheered him up and made him forget his troubles.

Wearing my dad's mask while in the stroller

We stopped at Denny's to eat breakfast before spending the whole day in the park. 

Pancake on his face

At the park

Pictures of the Finding Nemo ride.  For those who've never been to Disneyland, you get in little submarines that go under the water and watch through the windows as Marlin looks for Nemo again.  It's really clever and cute, and Jacob was enthralled.

Walking through the park

Sammy in the stroller

Afternoon break at Tony Romas across the street. 

Ready to go back to the park

Jake waiting to watch fireworks while on Daddy's back

Sleeping Beauty's castle all lit up

The kids had cotton candy for the first time that night

Part of the "Fantasmic" show there.  This is my favorite show in the park.  I like it more than the fireworks and world of color. 

Captain Hook's pirate ship during the Fantasmic show

Evil queen just turned into a giant dragon

Finale song.  All the Disney characters float by on this boat.

In front of "It's a Small World" we were actually the last ones to ride it before they shut it down to decorate it for the Holidays

Inside it's a small world.  Lots of singing puppets.  A little long for the grownups but kids absolutely love this ride.

It was a Sunday night, so the park was open until midnight.  Sunday night is our favorite time to be at Disneyland because the locals have school and work the next day, and a lot of people head home early.  We were able to ride almost all the rides in Fantasyland over and over again without having to wait in line.

The next day, we headed out to Sea World.  We'd never taken the kids to Sea World before, so we didn't know what to expect.

Ready to go!!!

In the stadium for the Sea Lion show

In the aquarium.  This is a shrimp.  Mostly I'm just experimenting with the camera.

Piranha

Inside the shark tank

Sharks are still scary.  The tank goes over your head and around you as you go through a conveyor belt that's also a tunnel, so the sharks are literally everywhere.

Outside the shark exhibit

 

Random flamingos in the park just chillin

This was mine and the kids favorite thing in the park.  Petting the manta rays.  I was surprised at how friendly and intelligent they were.  They literally swim right up to you and let you pet their heads like puppy dogs. 

Seth was in heaven.  He exclaimed "This is the best day ever!"  "I must be dreaming!  Pinch me!"  It was so cute.

There was also sort of a dolphin meet and greet thing.  I've only got this picture since I took video of the rest, but the kids got to feed jello to this dolphin.  Here he is jumping up out of the pool to say hello to the people next to me.  The trainer also taught Crystal and Seth how to signal the dolphin to splash.  They got in a splash fight with each other.  The dolphin won of course.

Food stop

In the stadium waiting for the killer whale show

Shamu!!! 

Jakey preferred to lay down on the floor instead of watch the boring whales do tricks.

In front of the starfish exhibit

The kids got to pick up the starfish and look at them

There's also a little sesame street playground in the park.  Here's Jake making a mess in the sandbox area

Crawling through the jungle gym and nets

Taking a picture with Elmo and Zoe.  Jakey was having a melt down at the time so he's not pictured.

On one of the kiddie rides in the Sesame street area

Brownie funnell cake.  Yup.

Ice cream!

My sister Denise flew in that night, so after my parents picked her up at the airport, we went to cheesecake factory where I ate these incredible Nachos.  

The next day back at Disneyland:

In line for the Pirates of the Caribbean ride, my dad's favorite

Seth being his usual smiley happy self

He has the best dimples

In car's land.  Jakes dream come true.  He's in love with the movie Cars.

Jake and Scott walking through Cars land

I daresay this was the happiest moment in my nearly two year olds life.  He is obsessed with lightning McQueen.  I got most of this on video. This was basically comparable to me meeting Christian Bale when I was only 13 in how dramatic it was for him.  Unfortunately he was so busy looking at his idol that there was no way I could get him to look up for a picture.  He hugged him, giggled, and stuck his arm in his mouth. 

Waiting in line for the Toy Story ride

My dad helping Jacob with his 3D glasses for the Toy Story ride

Sitting on the curb waiting for the Pixar Parade

Seth was in a great laughing mood as always. 

Daddy played with Sam.  Sam did a great job being good for the whole trip.

Jake is waving at Buzz Lightyear during the parade.  I usually take pictures of the kids faces instead of the parade, because watching the kids experience it, is what makes the whole thing so worthwhile.

It was a long day for my little angry bird.

Denise shared a hotel room with us.  Here she is chilling with Sammy.

The next day was back at Universal Studios but for the daytime activities at the park which are different than the Halloween event, and much more family friendly.

Aunt Denise.  Or as Seth calls her, "Denisie poo."

My cute mom

Sporting their front of the line passes that we upgraded to upon arrival. 

Crystal with Woody Woodpecker, and, uh...Mrs. Woodpecker?

Seth meets Frankenstein

Again, Jake is too busy looking at Frankenstein to look at the camera

Crystal meets a minion

Jake not looking at the camera again.

I had to take a picture of this hamburger because it was the best hamburger during the entire trip.  It doesn't look like much but it was absolutely delicious.  My dad was in love with it. 

Sammy and Scott

Me and my baby

Spongebob!!!!  Another one of Jakes favorite.  He's trying to get him to hold still for the picture. 

Group shot.  Jake kept hugging him and putting his head on him.

Shrek!

That night at the hotel.  Jake is watching TV next to his dad.  He was swinging his feet, I thought it was cute.

Fake smile for the camera.  He's saying "Cheese."

The Next day it was our final day back at Disney.

Scott took this of me and my sister exiting the bathroom at Disneyland the next morning.  My sister is in the pink behind me. I usually wore Sam in a carrier during the trip.

This was marked as the first day ever that Crystal and Seth actually enjoyed a roller coaster.  It was a kiddie coaster, but nonetheless it was the first fast ride that they stopped being afraid of.  This is the "Go coaster" in Toontown.  They went on it at least 8 times.

Great shot of Scott's arms up in the air

There they are again

Jake got impatient while they were going on the ride 50 times.  This is his complaining fake crying face.  By now he had been an experienced Disneyland goer and could yell "Ride ride ride!!" When he wanted to go on a ride.  He loved all the ones he was big enough to go on.  He was never afraid for a second.  Too bad he was too small for the go coaster, because he would have loved it.

Walking through Toontown

My parents and sister spoiling my children by buying them things in the gift shops

Denise and Seth.  These two are best friends.

Funny Story:

Crystal and Seth can see splash mountain from the outside every year, including the people screaming as they go down the big dip over the waterfall in the log.   The visual terrifies them.  This year everybody tricked Seth into going on the ride by lying to him and saying we were going on "Regular Mountain" instead of "Splash mountain."  Crystal was too smart for it and refused to even give "regular mountain" a try, but Seth trusted us.  Sort of.  He still had his doubts.  Every few minutes or so in line he'd ask..."Is this splash mountain?" and one of us would change the subject.  Once he got in the log to ride, we were already in there and going and he asked again, "Is this splash mountain?"  And we would again change the subject, pointing out the anamatronics and cool visuals.  There are three dips in the ride total.  We warned him before every dip and he did fine.  After the huge dip and the big splash he asked again, "Was that splash mountain?"  We finally said yes and he laughed and laughed.  He thought it was the best joke ever and it tuned out he loved the ride.

He is so proud of himself for riding on Splash Mountain

Sometimes we would push the three older kids in the stroller at the same time when they got tired.

Scott sneaking a picture of me while I put a jacket on Seth back at the hotel room.  I tried to avoid being in pictures as much as possible, but this one's okay.

Back at the Cheescake factory.  Crystal is admiring the Cheesecakes on display.

Back at Disneyland during the night.  It got a little cool so Sam is bundled up

Scott, my mom, and the three older kids on the ladybug ride in California Adventures.  Jake is too short to see but he was there too.

Long day for my two babies

So that was our Disneyland trip.  It was so great to see my parents and sister and to spend time with them.  I love how they are always so willing to help out with our kids and they always voulunteer themselves to watch over them without us even having to ask most of the time.
 Having to say goodbye to them and get back on the plane to go back east was bittersweet.
The hardest part was how hard my kids took it, which I wasn't prepared for.  Seth, my happiest child, sobbed along with Crystal the whole way back to the airport.  Not the usual crying kid sobs, but silent, broken hearted sobs.  It tore my heart in two.  Even on the plane flying back, about a half an hour before we landed in Philadelphia, Seth broke into sobs again because he hated saying goodbye to my parents and Aunt Denise. Seth loves my sister.  Whenever she's in the room, he gravitates to her, grabs her hand, and refuses to leave her side.  Anyway, it was a sad ride back home for them, but they were both back to their happy selves all over again once they got to see their cousins the next day.

HALLOWEEN

A few days later it was already Halloween back home and the kids got to dress up and be in their school parade.  Here is Seth going through the parade.  His makeup is already messed up because he had a runny nose and kept wiping his face with his sleeve.

My little Mario

Here is Crystal, A.K.A. Glinda the good witch of the North, from the movie "Oz the great and Powerful"

Seth at his Halloween class party.  Parents were invited

Crystal at her Halloween class party

I tried to get them together on the couch before we went trick or treating.  This was about as still as they managed to hold.

My little Buzz Lightyear, complete with pacifier and cocked eyebrow.

Sammy was Winnie the Pooh

Seth loved his costume

Crystal wanted flowers painted on her face

The day after, there was a small Halloween get together at Dan and Kelsey's house.  Even though it was a day after Halloween, we were told that wearing Costumes would be greatly appreciated.  I didn't buy a costume that year, but I had a lot of face paint and random clothes and did this:

I found scary clown pictures on the internet and tried to copy one I liked onto my face.  I don't think my Mother in Law liked it very much.

The best part was that the LDS missionaries knocked on my door and I answered it like this.  I also opened the door really quickly to try and be scary, thinking it was Scott.  Nope.  So they were newly transferred into our area and stopped by to introduce themselves and this is what they got. 

I missed my family a lot that night because they love Halloween and dressing up as much as I do.  They go all out. I usually don't hold a candle to what they throw together.   My brother texted me this picture of his costume, which was amazing.  I wish we could have taken a picture together

My brother Mike as Beetlegeuse.  I also got a text of my sister who was also Mario just like Seth, and some great costumes on my cousins too. 

Every couple brought one sweet and one savory food item for everyone to share potluck

Crystal got sick of her dress and took it off.  Dan took this picture with my camera.

Playing with Reagan

Dan snapped this picture of them all together, of course nobody is holding still or looking at the camera.

So that was Halloween.  Good stuff.  Not as crazy as Halloween's past, but I consider my trip to the Horror Nights event in Hollywood as my own Halloween, so I got my fill of the fun horror stuff.  Overall it was a very fun month.  It might be the last time we go to Disneyland for a few years, so it was fantastic that we could spend it with my parents and sister together.  I love Disney because of how magical it is for the kids.  For them, it's like their dreams and fantasies really are coming to life, and seeing their smiling faces has made it worth the money so many times.  It's time to try new stuff together though, so we will see what next year brings.