Counting my blessings

For those who don't have a facebook account, I'm going to explain that oftimes Facebook suggests to you a name of someone you can "reconnect" with or say hello to out of your friends so you can catch up. Sometimes I listen to facebook and go say hi to the person, and other times not so much. However this time when the suggestion box came up it was my friend Ben, who was kind of like an annoying brother to me back in the single days. He, my friend Natalie, and I were all in leadership positions at the Orem institute of religion back when we were all single. We were in charge of feeding students, which we did. We would all go shopping at the grocery store together, cook the food, serve it to the students, and a lot of times just hang out. We also used to teach at the institute's missionary preparation workshops to aspiring missionaries, since all three of us were returned missionaries, and felt we had things to share and advice to give. Even after we were released from that calling, we still would all hang out, talk on the phone, and go play frisbee in the park. Ben would always call or text me when he was bored, and I would do the same. We never dated or anything, we had no chemistry together whatsoever, it was more of a brother/sister type thing. Later in life when we ran into each other again, this time with our spouses and children, he showed me pictures of his two beautiful little girls. Anyway, occasionally we would comment on each others pictures and such on Facebook from time to time, and when I saw his name pop up in the "reconnect" suggestion box, I clicked on it to peek at what he's been up to, only to find the worst surprise ever. Scott had to ask me why I was staring at my computer screen in total disbelief.
The reason why I hadn't seen him post anything for a while was because he'd passed away while flying a small plane to the Provo airport.
"Shocked" didn't even begin to describe how I felt.
Apparently this happened a while ago too, and I had no clue, and so instead of seeing his funny posts and cute pictures of his family, his facebook had become a memorial where people could write things they missed about him.
Every time I think of his wife, and daughters my heart hurts. All I could do was wish I'd known sooner, so that I could do something to help her and those beautiful little girls to have a better Christmas this last December, even if it was just some money to buy gifts for themselves.
It's always kind of a shock when someone you know dies. I've decided that it will never get easier to comprehend, at least for me. I also guess that I was shaken up by it because it wasn't because he was sick, or doing something reckless, he just went to work one day and never came home.
Even though I was upset, I went about the rest of my day like always, but something was bothering me in the back of my head. As the day went on, I got more easily annoyed, and more irritable and frustrated. I found myself getting argumentative over petty subjects, and just in an overall rotten mood. I got into bed and tried and tried to figure out why I was so upset since he and I hadn't even talked in person in years, and it's not like he was someone I saw everyday anymore. Was it the shock of it? Was it because I felt so bad for his wife and girls? Then I realized what was bothering me.
He went to work one day and then never came back.
Who's to say that it won't happen to Scott one day when he's commuting on horrible I-15 to work and back? Especially because the weather here in Utah is not always great when it comes to driving conditions. On what was now Ben's memorial facebook page, his wife would still occasionally leave heartfelt messages on his wall, telling him she loved him, or appreciated him, or that she was looking forward to seeing him again. Although I admire her immensely for her strength, it's still heartbreaking to think of what she's been through; to have someone you love ripped out of your life so suddenly, without any warning or preparation, and being left to comfort your children and pick up the pieces. I'm not going to lie, it scared me. I obviously know that anybody can die at any time, but when it happens to someone you know like that, it makes it more real than ever. Without thinking I grabbed onto Scott and hugged him as hard as I could without saying anything, but he knew exactly what I was thinking because he hugged me back and said. "Don't worry. I'm not going anywhere anytime soon." Though it was comforting, I did what most girls do when their emotional and burst into tears. Even more so, because he knew me well enough to know what was bothering me even before I did. All I could say to him through my sobs were, "You can't ever leave me."
Scott, like the great man he is, said a lot of comforting things...and particularly reminded me of Temple covenants, and eternal blessings. He did a great job at helping me to calm down from my momentary panic and remind me of the bigger picture.
I'm so thankful for temple blessings. I'm so thankful that Heavenly father has a plan for everyone, and he knows our needs and how to help us be happy here in this life, no matter what happens. I'm thankful for my friend Ben, not only for all the fun memories, hilarious arguments, interesting conversations, and laughs, but because his passing reminded me of how much I need to love, and appreciate my husband EVERY day, because EVERY day with someone you love is a blessing. His wife and daughters will continue to be in my prayers, and I know they'll be reunited again...and from what I know from his personality, he's still looking after them.
I hope with all my heart that Scott is right, and he won't be going anywhere anytime soon, but if for some reason he does, I know that because of the blessings that come from being sealed in the temple that we'll be together forever no matter what. I love him so much and am so blessed to have found him among so many others. I often feel like he's sort of my hidden treasure, because if anyone else knew how great he really is, and how many wonderful things he does in secret without telling people, and what an amazing husband he is in private, that some other girl would have snatched him up before I had the chance to fall in love with him.
Being able to be with the ones you love forever is the best blessing in the world.

Chinese Food!!

We went to Scott's aunt Jill's house to watch the basketball game last Saturday. We almost always do Italian food when we get together, and it was getting old, so Kelsey had the brilliant idea that we all do Chinese food this time, and so we did!
Everybody made their own Chinese dish that they were good at...and it wasn't even that hard for us all to cook at the same time because Jill's kitchen is humongous.


Crystal keeping herself busy


Linkin enjoying his rubber spatula


Who needs P.F. changs? Honestly this was a delicious meal.


Seth brought his action figures


Jason making filipino style rice


Both Jason and Scott felt they had the best recipe for their asian rice. So we had both kinds made so that everyone could try them both; which turned out to be a good thing because we ate a ton and ended up needing both pans of rice.
So...once we discovered that we can all cook other food besides Italian food, we decided that it would be fun to have different themed foods for different nights that we hang out.

For your reading enjoyment ladies

I was reading this month's Ensign and came across this awesome article about family by Julie B. Beck. If you haven't read it yet, you should. If you don't have an Ensign in your home, you can read it here.

As a wife and mother, I found it particularly moving. Some of my favorite quotes from it were:

"Satan knows that he will never have a body; he will never have a family. So he targets young women, who will create the bodies for the future generation."

"The rising generation need to understand that the command to “multiply, and replenish the earth” remains in force. Bearing children is a FAITH-BASED work."

“Many of the social restraints which in the past have helped to reinforce and to shore up the family are dissolving and disappearing. The time will come when only those who believe deeply and actively in the family will be able to preserve their families in the midst of the gathering evil around us." -Spencer W. Kimball

Anyway I loved this talk.

My family is my everything, and although I'm sarcastic, impulsive, and have an over the top sense of humor that sometimes gets me into trouble, I love my husband and kids with all my heart. My kids light up our house with their happy smiling faces every day. I know that before I came to this world that the thing I wanted more than anything was to have an eternal family of my own. I know it's what I was most looking forward to in the plan of salvation.
Yes, the routine of family life is hard, and sometimes it feels like nobody notices the hard work that goes into being a mother and wife. I wash the same dishes, pick up the same toys, and do the same routine over and over and it gets exhausting, sometimes downright annoying, but the worth of what I have right now makes up for all of the daily annoyances that come along.
The day I got married I thought life couldn't get any better. Then Crystal was born. When that happened I thought THAT day wouldn't get any better. Then of course came Seth. Again, I felt more complete that I ever had in my life. Having an eternal family and being sealed together has brought some of the greatest joy in my life, and it will continue to do so. Of course it's hard sometimes. Everything good worth having in life requires hard work. That's life. However when all is said and done there are three people in the world, (Scott, Crystal and Seth) who for some reason I'll never understand love me with all their hearts. I will always have them and be with them forever. That's worth everything.