I'm gonna win!!!!

This has pretty much been the most stressful month ever.  Too much happening at the same time.  Adjusting to 4 kids, unexpectedly moving, nursing, packing, figuring out stupid details, deciding to sell our cars, then deciding we may keep one of them, deciding whether or not to buy another car, cleaning, physically recovering from childbirth, blessing Samuel before moving, putting things into storage boxes, RE-packing some things because some things work better in different boxes than others, trying not to ignore my new baby while getting things done, last minute family gatherings and saying goodbye to family and friends,  frequent migraines from a random head cold, pediatrician appointments, transferring school records, looking into East Coast insurance plans, selling our house, sifting through items I want to donate to good will, overloading trash cans, getting up at  3am with the baby,   and NOW Jake has the flu.  He's thrown up 4 times today so far, and I have to keep cleaning him up and changing his clothes and rocking him to sleep, then washing and sanitizing myself right after so I can feed and change Samuel without passing germs on to him.
Its hard not to feel overwhelmed.  I know this will pass and it will all be a memory, but for right now it's hardest for me not to feel angry.  Angry because there's nothing I can do to control the situation, and control anything at this point really, and angry because I'm allowing myself to feel overwhelmed when there are bigger problems out there in the world.
The good news is that one of my biggest talents, is the ability to bounce back when things knock me down.  I may not handle every situation perfectly, I may get stressed, angry, and overwhelmed sometimes, and I may get discouraged, but I  always always always get back up, dust off, and keep going.  It's one of the only things I'm good at.  I know how to keep going.  Sometimes I have to sit down and cry for a minute to release my frustration, but then I fight back.  I don't like loosing, and I don't like quitting.
Usually I deal with my emotions through cardiovascular exercise, but I can't do that for another week and a half, but I still have music.
Music is one of my big outlets for dealing with stress.  So this is my theme song right now, I've been listening to it all day, because life is a race, and I'm going to win. Oh yes, I'm going to win.  Maybe not gracefully, or beautifully, or with poise and class, I may be clawing and biting my way to the finish line covered in mud, and  probably also covered in my kids poop and vomit, and muttering to myself like a  schizophrenic, but I'll get there. I'm going to win.

On other news, we blessed Sammy yesterday.  We wanted to get it done before we left, because we really like the ward/neighborhood we're in, and my parents wanted to be a part of it and Scott's mom said to go ahead and do it out here, so we did.  It was simple and he probably got the least amount of family members attending than my other kids, but it was still a beautiful blessing and I was thankful for the day and the opportunity to appreciate my new son for the day.  He is such a sweet little boy already, and such a well behaved newborn.  I have to set an alarm on my phone to feed and change him because he doesn't cry when when he's dirty or hungry. He hardly cries at all, and I can already see so much love in his darling face when he looks at me and makes eye contact.  I love him so much.  I hope I can give him all the attention he needs in spite of all the recent chaos.  Whenever I can stop and hold him for a little bit, it's comforting, and I'm thankful for that.

This is actually our first family photo with all six of us.  Hurray!!

Words cannot express the amount of love I have for this little face.  

I took this one when he turned 4 weeks old.  We survived the fist month!  Yay!